so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
