Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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