I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
