Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to convert me to islam
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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