You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
