Don't you send me to vm
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
