Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
