I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
