Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
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