Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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