Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
