Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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