your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
