I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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