i jhust puked up my retainher.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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