when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Also, beer. Big fan.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
