I wanna bring you to show and tell
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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