im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Welp...herpes.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
