I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Randomize
