HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
