Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
do herpes really smell.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
