you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
