On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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