Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
