Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
