How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
