He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
