Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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