I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize