Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
