Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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