No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
