I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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