the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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