We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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