if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
