Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
worst night to have a conscience
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
