Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
