just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
