They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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