It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
