I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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