if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Dicks are not precious.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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