He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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