We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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