I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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