my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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