I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
