I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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