Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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