Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
