Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
