it's too hot outside to masturbate.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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