and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
