the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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