i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
