Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you will always have a special place in my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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