i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
