sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
