you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize