oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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