Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just cropdusted the office
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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