It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My breasts were aching with rage.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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