well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
