Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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